I had a moment of realisation of how the imperfections that were causing me so much distress in my awareness and consciousness where in fact, perfection themselves. This only took a split second and my entire awareness became clear.
Before I had felt that there was something vitally wrong with my awareness.. like feeling a wrinkle it somehow. I had this for years slowly building and increasing in my awareness. I do not know quite the nature of said wrinkle, I just knew it wasn’t meant to be that way, it was like a close wall that I couldn’t see yet knew was there. A ripple of disturbance or chaos.
It felt like I knew that there was more in or behind that disturbance, though due to the disturbance I was unable to access it. I likened it to spiritual or awareness level confusion.
In that moment it became clear, the disturbance removed and my awareness become as calm as a milled pond. Stretch out and stable again. The distress now gone, I sat there and laughed at the change that seemed happen all by itself. For whatever reason in that moment an observation and random thought had that made the switch.
That night my crown chakra opened. I saw the pastel colours of the Godhead spinning over me, which I would have put down to being simply ‘pretty lights’ if not for a friend who pointed out exactly what had happened.
All I knew is that for the first time in a long time.. I felt totally at peace and ok with my present awareness. The following days were accompanied by many pressure points on the head though nothing to painful to complain over.
..That was around a week or so ago..
Yesterday I had a 5 hour writing session to uncover a deep Core Belief that I was being deceived and manipulated. As soon as I pulled it up BAM! In my now and presence I knew without a doubt, here and now, I was being constantly deceived. No wonder I was never able to fully feel like I was connected or a part of any of this! With this in the light of day, it was much easier to work out.
This then lead to the revelation and connected misunderstanding that this was a spiritual ascension. Well it’s not. I have no idea why this didn’t occur to me earlier as its so simple. If this was a spiritual ascension, why go from spirit into physical? The spirit is here to ascend the physical.. the ‘human’. Not for the human to ascend the spirit. This brought about the feeling and intuition of Spirit behind me to aid in the human (me) ascension and evolution, not Spirit coming here to evolve itself. That never seemed to feeling right to me. This however makes so much sense it explains and answers a lot of the things about all this that just didn’t add up.
The puzzles of ascension yet still living a physical live along side this ascension as if nothing else was going on, in the same ways and manners.. it never seemed right. NOW it all makes sense. Now, I understand where I fit into all this and way I had to be here for it.
This lead me to another understanding and acceptance. One of Soul Connections/Soul Partner/Twin Flames. I have been keeping mine at a distance in my awareness. I remained open for anything to appear yet saw little point in keeping a space in the foreground. Whilst I was sat and letting this new understanding seep around me I suddenly felt his presence, my Partner come to mind. As I was thinking about something I assumed was totally separate, I suspect that this indeed re-connected me to him. Now, the physical connection I have to this man.. makes sense! I couldn’t work out a need for a connection on the physical level whilst everything was meant to be on a spiritual level. It all seemed too much and more than necessary and didn’t seem to have a purpose or point to it.