I like to think this will be my last post in this section. I cannot remain in this stage indefinitely, to do so will be stagnation. I have often told myself I want to be the most prepared that I can be.
Ok.. something is saying that for whatever reason, I am not allowed to be/have access to all the deeply good stuff of the human emotion! That life can’t be or isn’t meant to be, that am never able to be happy etc.
Pondering this morning about how I remember myself and him, who asked me to. I do not feel that I have enough to ‘jog’ my memory.
All I have are ideas and none that seem to ring a bell or shake anything loose. Maybe looking into the ‘why’ would help?
The thought I am nothing more than a means to an end, the carrier of an energy, a code to do something makes me feel a bit of a Trojan horse. I do not like the idea. That there is no ‘spirit’ or ‘who’’, just a what. I am nothing more than a delivery system. Continue reading