Commitment & Disappointment

I like to think this will be my last post in this section. I cannot remain in this stage indefinitely, to do so will be stagnation. I have often told myself I want to be the most prepared that I can be.

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Fear From the Fall

Ok.. something is saying that for whatever reason, I am not allowed to be/have access to all the deeply good stuff of the human emotion! That life can’t be or isn’t meant to be, that am never able to be happy etc.

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Personal Pondering on My SC/TF Phenomenon

Pondering this morning about how I remember myself and him, who asked me to. I do not feel that I have enough to ‘jog’ my memory.

All I have are ideas and none that seem to ring a bell or shake anything loose. Maybe looking into the ‘why’ would help?

The thought I am nothing more than a means to an end, the carrier of an energy, a code to do something makes me feel a bit of a Trojan horse. I do not like the idea. That there is no ‘spirit’ or ‘who’’, just a what. I am nothing more than a delivery system. Continue reading